How healthy is your emotional bank balance?

School goes back next week. Part of me is sad and part of me is glad. I’m ready for some me time again but I will miss spending time with the girls and being carefree with time.

Robyn is really excited about seeing all of her friends again and Katie is more than ready to go back to nursery. She needs some space from me just as much as I need some space from her.
She has been particularly difficult this last week and we have seen the “old” Katie with tantrums galore along with her kicking and smacking me.

My dad popped round this morning and I was able to let off some steam about how difficult she had been from the moment she woke up. While he was here Katie sat very nicely watching TV and spoke very sweetly to me. I said to my dad that Katie had shot herself in the foot because now she is being all sweet and angelic the damage is already done. My patience had gone, I was in a bad mood with her and I couldn’t find it within myself to forget how horrid she had been beforehand.
I commented that this made me feel bad and then my dad said something that rang very true. He said “She has used up all of your emotional bank balance”.

He explained it like this:

When you have had lots of lovely times, lots of positive experiences and happy, carefree days then one bad day is ok. You can deal with it. When that emotional bank balance is in credit you can afford an off day.
However, when you have bad day after bad day and when things get you down constantly then the next bad day can be epic. When you are already in your emotional overdraft then the next bad day takes you over your agreed limit and you are in trouble.

The first few weeks of the holidays were lovely. My emotional bank balance was topped up and all was well. I could deal with the odd bad day with Katie because my account was in credit.
Now we are nearing the end my reserves are low. In order to top them up again I need to take some time out. Even 10 minutes sitting in my bedroom helps. It all keeps me away from that overdraft limit.

Make the most of good days while you can. Use them to top up your emotional bank balance and then when a bad day comes you will be ready. When you are suffering on that bad day remember that the debt will be repaid. Good times will come to top your account up.

How is your emotional bank balance at the moment? I’m still in my overdraft but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Our half term break

I love school holidays. I love having the chance to spend more time with my girls and doing different things with them. Katie has been delightful this half term which meant we got to do lovely things together. It makes such a difference to everyone’s moods!

Robyn went away to stay with her dad from Saturday until Wednesday. It works well now that she only goes for half the week. I’m much happier with the arrangement. We missed her loads but it was nice for Katie to have the attention from both me and Anthony for a couple of days.

On Sunday we made biscuits together. This is something we don’t do enough. It was such fun and Katie was so proud of what she created.

On Monday we went to Embsay & Bolton Abbey Steam Railway for a day out with Thomas the Tank Engine. Katie loves Thomas and so it seemed a perfect thing to do while Robyn was away.

Tuesday was a lovely lazy day for me and Katie. Anthony was back at work after his long weekend and so we enjoyed some Mummy & Katie time. We had a wonderful day together.

On Wednesday I decided to brave taking Katie on the train to Manchester. It’s only a 35 minute journey so not too far. I met Robyn at Victoria station and got a nice surprise when her dad handed over £50 in birthday money that she got from relatives while she was away. Katie was still being a good girl so we headed to Primark and got the girls some new summer clothes. I love Primark for cheap kids clothes and it was lovely for Robyn to choose what she wanted with her money. I also took them into Next and got them a nice outfit each in there.
It felt so wonderful to be out shopping with my girls. It was the first time EVER I have felt able to take them both on the train and be independent with them. I walked through Manchester with my head held high because for the first time in ages I felt normal… Anthony was at work and I was shopping with my girls. I cannot tell you how much I have longed for the day I could do that. I felt so proud.

On Thursday we had Robyns best friend and her little brother (our godson) round while their mum went to work. We played outside and had chippy chips for lunch. We made chocolate chip cookies and had a lot of fun!

Friday was a good day too although it started badly for Anthony with a migraine. He went to work but was sent home again. Ironically he began to feel better when he got in so we took the opportunity to go out with the girls. We took them out for lunch and did a spot of shopping before dropping them off at my mum and dads. My sister collected them later on and they stayed at her house overnight. This is because we went away!

We booked ourselves into a hotel just 30 miles away for the night and what a wonderful time we had! We sat outside with a pitcher of Pimms and Lemonade after we had checked in and then enjoyed a swim and chilled out in the spa pool. Dinner was delicious, I had mussels and chips (a real favourite of mine) and Anthony had ostrich steak.

The only thing that put a damper on the night away was when the car wouldn’t start the next morning. We called Green Flag and luckily they got us going again.

All in all we had a superb half term and I’m really looking forward to the summer break. I feel confident that I’ll be able to manage some days out with the girls and that makes me really happy!