An update on my 10 things.

Back in December my friend Mel asked me to compile a list of 10 things that we want in the next 12 months. That was 4 months ago so I figured I should post an update…

1. We want to have another baby
2. We want Anthony to be working in a good job where he is happy Anthony has a job trial today after a good interview last week!
3. Mel wants to be confident in looking after Katie on her own I can do it!! Anthony went away for 4 nights last month and I was fine. I took Katie to church on my own twice last week!
4. Mel wants to have lost 4 stone in weight I’m a quarter of the way there
5. We want to be living in a house with a garden We are on the council list now. It might be a long wait but we’ve taken the step.
6. We want to go away somewhere hot and sunny with our family Butlins booked for October!
7. Anthony wants to have lost 2 stone in weight He is going to take up running soon
8. We want a brand new family car
9. Mel wants to publish a children’s prayer book with her mum
10. We want our own Cafe and Bistro business. We will call it Karma

So, I’ve knocked one off the list and for me that was one of the huge ones to overcome. Of those that are left three are making real progress and the others are being worked on. We have booked a holiday to Butlins in October. Not quite hot and sunny but a holiday all the same. We are really looking forward to it.

It is really exciting watching the list slowly work out. Why don’t you have a go?!

I believe in Angels

I believe in Angels. Do you?

Angels are messengers from God. They are around us all the time and they protect us and our loved ones. Each night I silently ask the Angels to watch over my family & friends both on earth and in heaven.

When I was in labour with Katie almost exactly 3 years ago I listened to a CD by Angelis. It was the first CD that got put on from my selection (which also included some very cheesy stuff like The Ultimate Boy Bands CD lol). As it turned out I didnt need any more CDs. Even though Katie Grace waited until 15days past her due date to arrive once she got going there was no stopping her!

The first song on the album is called “Angel”. It is a song that many people have recorded, however the Angelis version remains my favourite. I have been listening to it this evening and the words never fail to speak to me. They remind me that the Angels are there. They helped me that morning when I was in labour and they carry on doing just as I ask them to every evening.

Angel

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There’s always one reason
To feel not good enough
And it’s hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I’ll find some peace tonight

In the arms of the angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here

So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There’s vultures and thieves at your back
The storm keeps on twisting
Keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack
It don’t make no difference
Escaping one last time
It’s easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

In the arms of the angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here

You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here

10 Things

Today it was confirmed that Anthony has lost his job. We have been through every emotion possible from anger through to relief because at least we know where we stand.

My friend Mel called me earlier and I was so grateful. She asked me and Anthony to sit down tonight and write 10 things that we want in the next 12 months. The rules were these: it doesnt matter how silly the things sound, how far-fetched or how impossible they seem. You are not allowed to include any negative thoughts in the list. No ifs, buts, maybe’s. No saying “this is what we’d like but we’d settle for that”.

Here is what we have come up with:

1. We want to have another baby
2. We want Anthony to be working in a good job where he is happy
3. Mel wants to be confident in looking after Katie on her own
4. Mel wants to have lost 4 stone in weight
5. We want to be living in a house with a garden
6. We want to go away somewhere hot and sunny with our family
7. Anthony wants to have lost 2 stone in weight
8. We want a new family car
9. Mel wants to publish a children’s prayer book with her mum
10. We want our own Cafe and Bistro business. We will call it Karma

Suddenly seeing it written down like that doesnt seem so hard to achieve…

Think Positive

Today has been pretty horrible. Anthony’s job is under threat. For regular readers of my blog you will know he was out of work for over 18mths until September. To say this is bad news is an understatement.

A wise friend of mine told me this: “Try to concentrate on what you want rather than what you don’t want!”.

On the same thinking this evening we have talked about the plus sides of being out of work.

• Anthony will be here to help me with Katie when she is being difficult
• We will be able to go out for some nice walks
• We might not have much money at Christmas but have the chance of being together as a family
• I will be able to go to church again on a Sunday as the time as a family won’t be so precious

If Anthony does keep his job he will probably look for alternative employment anyway. It will buy him some time so he wont be out of work. We have thought about offering to take the lease of the premises but that is something that needs very careful consideration. For it to work he would have to start from scratch with new staff.

Today I am thankful for:

• My family who have been so so supportive today. My sister has offered some ad hoc work for Anthony
• My friends who have tried to take my mind off things and offered hugs
• Katie who has been a little star today. When I cried she said “Mummy doin’ cryin’. Love you mummy”
• Robyn who has made me proud by learning all her lines for the school play
• Anthony who is my rock. Together we will face anything that is thrown at us

“…All shall be well and all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well”: Julian of Norwich

A patience update

Well Anthony has been offered a 2 week work trial which basically means we stay on benefits for the time being and work for free!

The employers can then let Anthony prove himself in the job (which is managing a brand new café with the chance of going into business with them in the future) and then decide to offer him the job. It is like a 2 week long job interview!

Again, I have to trust and believe that this is what is right. This is a step in securing our future but it is also securing the café owners future. If they pick the wrong manager it could be disaster for them. Anthony needs to work his socks off and prove that he is the man for the job.

It’s going to be a long 2 weeks!

Patience is a virtue

We are currently waiting on some potentially very exciting job news for Anthony. If he gets offered this job the last 18 months of unemployment will be all worth it. All the failed interviews and applications will have been for a reason. It is a job that doesn’t come along very often. In fact, it’s not just a job. It’s the chance of securing a future!

Each time the phone rings my stomach does a backward flip. It is taking over my head and it is hard to sit still! Patience, however, is a virtue. We need to be patient and we need to believe & trust that things will work out.

It’s just so very hard!

Ten on Tuesday…

Ten on Tuesday this week is “10 ways you can make your life better”.

1. Laugh. I believe that laughter is one of the best medicines. Laughing is good for the soul.
2. Live your own life. Don’t let anyone tell you who to be.
3. Bake. Baking makes me happy. I get a huge sense of achievement when someone eats something I have made and declares it yummy.
4. Nurture those close to you. For me it is my children. I believe I was born to be a mum. My job is to see my children grow up to be happy and fulfilled.
5. Have a hobby. I have just discovered sewing and am realising that when I sew I am “Mel” again – not Mummy, not a wife, not a daughter… just Mel.
6. Believe. I have a strong faith and at times that keeps me going. Everyone needs to believe in something, even if it’s the fairies at the bottom of the garden. Most importantly though believe in yourself.
7. Learn from your past. Don’t repeat the mistakes but learn from them and use them to make your life better.
8. Look to the future. It can be exciting if you let it!
9. Don’t go to bed on an argument. It does nobody any good. Clear the air before you sleep.
10. Regret nothing. You are who you are and you might just find people love you for it!