Being thankful

This morning at school we held a cake sale for Children in Need. The children are all wearing spotty clothes and they will do some fun activities to raise money to help children who really need it.

I am so thankful that I have 2 healthy children. Yes, they  have both had their problems but we are almost at the end of them now. Next week Robyn has an outpatients appointment with her surgeon and Katie also sees her paediatrician but that should be the end of a long journey with them both.
I am thankful that we have had the help and support of friends, family and professionals to get us through the hard times… and let’s be honest, there have been some very hard times with Katie inparticular.

This morning at school I bumped into a very special lady, Heather. I claimed Heather as my unsung hero of 2009 in this blog post because she did so much for Katie and us as a family. I have to confess that I didn’t recognise Heather straight away but she recognised me. It brought a tear to both our eyes as we spoke about Katie. To be able to update her on her progress was marvellous. It helped me to remember just how far we have come in the last few years.
It is possible I will see Heather in school more often now as she has a new role working with older children with statements. I am still so thankful to her. The fact that she remembers us so well proves I was right to claim her as my unsung hero.

 

Robyn’s Operation

So today we go to hospital for Robyn’s op. She doesnt have surgery until tomorrow afternoon so we will have plenty of time to ask questions.

I’m nervous, really nervous. I can’t help but worry about my baby girl having this procedure done. She is having a Nissen’s Fundoplication done. They will repair her hiatus hernia and tighten the valve of her stomach. This should mean the end of heartburn and sickness for her but it will be a fairly rough recovery for her.
Her diet will be restricted for quite a while. Fizzy pop is off the menu for at least a month and so is bread. Her favourite sausages will be off the list too unless I blend them for her lol.

She is having keyhole surgery which is a blessing but even so I worry about her scarring. I think she will have 5 incisions. Hopefully the scars will be minimal. I know it’s perhaps a vain thing to be worried about but as she grows I want her to be happy with her body. I never was, am still not. It’s a big thing for a girl.

I am so grateful to all my wonderful friends & family who have offered so much support to us. Keep the thoughts and prayers coming. They are very much needed and appreciated.

Robyn has her own blog here. Between us we will try and keep it updated over the next few weeks. It will be very much about how she is progressing and about how she is feeling. I will update on her behalf when she can’t do it but alot of her friends will be reading it (school are following it too) so I’ll keep my own thoughts and feelings to this blog.

Wish us luck!

Thankful Friday

Friday, Friday… it has been a long time coming this week! I could start and end this post by being thankful just for it being Friday this week! Let me explain why…

Early on Monday morning we got up and drove across to Leeds for Robyn to be admitted to hospital for tests. Robyn was meant to go down to the operating theatre in the morning. The nurse actually said that we were first on the list at 8.30am. However when the surgeon came round to speak to us he informed us that it would be the afternoon.
The waiting began and Robyn got very fed up. You could see how nervous she was and inside my heart was breaking because I could do nothing to help her feel better about things.
The lunch trolley came round and of course Robyn wasnt allowed anything because she was nil by mouth. She was so hungry. We watched other children go down to theatre and come back. One child had been to have his tonsils and adenoids out, another to have his finger reattached after trapping it in a door, another little boy with severe special needs had been to have a new feeding tube put in and a 6mth baby had his hips realigned. He came back with a plaster cast that went from above his waist down to below his knees. It was pretty heartbreaking to see but the baby remained happy and kept smiling at us 🙂

Finally it was Robyns turn. She went down to theatre at 2pm and it was to be a straightforward procedure of popping a camera down to have a look at her tummy and leaving a tube in with a ph probe on the end. The tube came out of her nose and was attached to a little black box. This monitors the levels of acid in her tummy.
They said she would only be asleep for 10 minutes so I waited next to theatre in a parents room… the most depressing room you have ever seen in your life. The 10 minutes passed and I was still waiting. An hour later I finally got called. I can tell you that during that hour every thought imaginable went through my mind. I knew I was being irrational, I knew that she was fine and that they were just being very careful with her but at the time I convinced myself that something had gone wrong. When I got called to go to recovery I pretty much ran there.

She was fine, of course. She opened her eyes and said to me sleepily “Can I have something to eat now?!” before promptly going back to sleep again!
While in theatre the surgeon noticed a part of her oesophagus up nearer her throat than where they have looked before appeared to be a bit abnormal. He also thought he could see a slight hiatus hernia. When she had barium swallows before one set of radiologists said there was a hernia, another set from a different hospital said there wasnt. Now I thought we were getting somewhere. Robyn was referred for more x rays the following day. Until then the tube in her tummy had to stay there for 22 hours so we went back to the ward and settled down for a long night.

A poor child in the next bed had his appendix removed a few days earlier and was very ill. That combined with the tonsillectomy child crying and also the baby in plaster crying made it a very, very long and tiring night.

Robyn was allowed an early breakfast and was then nil by mouth again until after her x-rays. She began to count down the hours until her tube was coming out. People came by and tried to cheer her up but she just wanted to be back to normal. Finally the tube came out and we went to x-ray for another barium swallow test. The radiologists didn’t see a hernia and seemed to suggest that the problem the surgeon had noticed wasnt there. I’m unsure though until I get official word back about the tests. They did say that there is some reflux there which goes some way to knowing what is going on I suppose.

We were discharged from hospital and went to a shopping centre on the way home where we gave Robyn £20 to spend on what she wanted for being so brave.

So, back to thankful Friday! This week I am thankful for:

• It being Friday!
• That the horrible, invasive tests are done with (for now at least)
• Doctors, nurses, anaesthetists, surgeons and radiologists!
• Wimbledon. Watching the tennis in hospital kept me sane
• Free patientline TV on childrens ward until 7pm
• Family and friends for helping out and caring
• Having a new car that got us to the hospital!
• Our good health. Seeing some poorly children really puts things into perspective

Childhood Memories

I am very lucky to have many happy childhood memories of different things. Holidays, Christmas, family times, events and friendships. For me one of the best things about being a parent is having the chance to give my children the happy memories that they will grow up with. I want them to be able to smile and reminisce about the same sorts of things that I do.

We do our very best to provide our girls with a happy home life and I am confident that they will look back and smile when they think of our holidays and moments of silliness. Robyn has a very good friend. She recently described her as her “BFF” (Best Friend Forever!). They are in the same class at school, go to Rainbows & church club together and we try and get together outside of school as much as we can.

Last week we invited her “BFF” home for tea. After Katie had gone to bed we treated them to a DVD, popcorn & chocolate while they wore PJ’s and snuggled up in quilts and blankets. It was a sleepover party without the actual sleepover part! That bit won’t be long coming though, Robyn is staying overnight at her friend’s house in a couple of weeks time!
As I sat and watched the two girls laugh, sing and dance together I couldn’t help but smile. I reckon they will remember that evening forever. They were so happy to be sharing a good time together. The stuff childhood memories are made of for sure.

I am a part of making those memories for my girls and that makes me feel fantastic. Really, really fantastic 🙂

Wordless Wednesday: My own special Advent candle

Find more Wordless Wednesday posts at www.wordlesswednesday.com

Think Positive

Today has been pretty horrible. Anthony’s job is under threat. For regular readers of my blog you will know he was out of work for over 18mths until September. To say this is bad news is an understatement.

A wise friend of mine told me this: “Try to concentrate on what you want rather than what you don’t want!”.

On the same thinking this evening we have talked about the plus sides of being out of work.

• Anthony will be here to help me with Katie when she is being difficult
• We will be able to go out for some nice walks
• We might not have much money at Christmas but have the chance of being together as a family
• I will be able to go to church again on a Sunday as the time as a family won’t be so precious

If Anthony does keep his job he will probably look for alternative employment anyway. It will buy him some time so he wont be out of work. We have thought about offering to take the lease of the premises but that is something that needs very careful consideration. For it to work he would have to start from scratch with new staff.

Today I am thankful for:

• My family who have been so so supportive today. My sister has offered some ad hoc work for Anthony
• My friends who have tried to take my mind off things and offered hugs
• Katie who has been a little star today. When I cried she said “Mummy doin’ cryin’. Love you mummy”
• Robyn who has made me proud by learning all her lines for the school play
• Anthony who is my rock. Together we will face anything that is thrown at us

“…All shall be well and all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well”: Julian of Norwich

Advent Sunday

Today is Advent Sunday. I had to explain to Robyn this week that Advent Sunday isn’t necessarily the day we open the 1st door on our Advent calendars. I expected her to be disappointed but instead she was excited about lighting the 1st Advent candle at church and began talking about counting down the Sundays until Christmas.

This afternoon we went to an Advent service at church. It was lovely. There were lots of candles lit and while people were waiting for the service to start you could hear them all talking about Christmas preparations. Someone behind me said she still had lots of shopping to do and somebody else was talking about their Christmas traditions. There was a real buzz about the place. Full of excitement and joy.

I got thinking about the floods appeal that has been launched. Our church was open all last week for people to bring blankets, clothes, towels etc which will be distributed to the people in Cumbria.

Here I was sitting in church excited about the start of Advent, full of anticipation about the exciting times that lay ahead of us in December with Katie’s 3rd birthday and of course Christmas and not far from us there are people whose lives have been devastated by floods. I told Robyn how I was feeling and she had tears in her eyes. She said “I might have some old toys that other children could have”. When we got home she went upstairs and brought some things down for me to take to church. Tomorrow I will look through all our clothes. Larger sized clothes are in particular need. I can help out there. There has to be some good points to being overweight!

So, as Advent begins let us watch and wait. Let us look forward and believe. But also let us remember and think about people who need our help, and never ever underestimate children.

Robyn has learned today that a lit candle is just as exciting as a piece of Advent calendar chocolate and will have helped some children get some toys back.

 

What has made me happy today?

Right, I need to get back to blogging. Yes. I will try my very best, starting now.

In a day that is easy to remember negatives I need to jot down a few positives. The things that have made me happy today are:

• Getting an email back from the local newspaper to say they are considering using one of my photographs from an event in town at the weekend.
• Spending time with my 11yr old nephew and teaching him how to use my camera. Seeing his excitement as he took some lovely photographs.
• Hearing Katies portage worker tell me I am a good mum despite Katie being difficult.
• Spending time with my mum, dad and sister. I am lucky to have them.
• My husband being so unbelievably thoughtful and sensitive.
• The lovely cuddle I got from Robyn.

For now I will forget the tears I have shed today. They are gone. Tomorrow is a new day.

My favourite things

On my photography course this week I am asked to take two pictures of someone, somewhere or something that you really like. This has really got me thinking. I have been trying hard to think which two things are worthy of being at the top of that list and of course which two things are good to photograph.

I thought I’d make a list here in no particular order:

• My husband. He is my best friend, my soul mate, my rock. I struggle to imagine life without him.
• My children. I am so proud of them and I am so thankful that I have had the chance to be a mother.
• My laptop. It is my link to the “outside world” and through it I can keep in touch with my friends and family.
• My camera. Lately my new hobby of photography has given me a new lease of life. Getting outside and taking photographs has opened my eyes and I notice things in a new way. A simple, boring wall can be beautiful when you take its photograph and notice the textures and light shades.
• Where I live. I am lucky to live in a truly beautiful place. Living here makes me happy.
• My church. Maybe here I’m not actually talking about the physical building (although it is beautiful) or even the people in it. My faith is what I perhaps mean.
• My bed! I love the feeling of getting into my own bed after I’ve been away for even one night. Nothing better!
• Café Modo. It is the place that has given my husband his new lease of life. He has his spark back and watching him cook, prepare menus and make plans for the future is wonderful. The mochas arent bad either!

There are more favourite things but these are the ones I could think of straight away. Look out to see which ones I photograph!

Health

Robyns tests went well. The radiologist said there does seem to be a slight hernia which would explain alot of her symptoms. We are just waiting on another test now and then a follow up appointment. She was a superstar having the test done. She had to drink quite alot of the barium and said it tasted horrid. She understands it is a means to an end though.

I have been to the doctors for some advice about losing weight and to raise my concerns about the fact we have been trying for baby number 3 for 18mths with no joy. I have been referred for tests as he wonders if I might have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS). Yesterday I had blood tests and am now sporting a huge bruise on my arm. I have an appointment in October to get the results and to discuss what happens next.

I have copied most of this next bit from my lovely parenting group that I am a member of…

Today I had a really great conversation with Heather, Katies speech therapist.
She said she is thrilled with how Katie is coming on with her speech. She was asking how playgroup is going and wanted to discuss what we do next.
We both agreed her speech is not such a concern now… its just a case of practise which will come with being at playgroup. She told me she has concerns about Katies listening & attention skills. I said I do too.
She has had hearing tests and we know that she is hearing everything no problem. Katie is stubborn but it goes a bit further than stubborn. She has firm mindsets and once she is “on one” then it is very difficult to get her out of it. 

I am really at the end of my tether. I really do need some more help with her. The way the speech therapist spoke it sounds like she has spotted the problem and recognises that it is a bit more than the normal terrible twos. She said that when she has observed her she can see that no matter how hard I try she just does not listen.
She said she is concerned that if Katie carries on in the way she does now then it will get too out of control.
Heather said that she really feels for me. She said “You are great, you are doing everything right and Katie is lucky you are her mum”. That made me feel alot better about it. It is nothing that I have done. Katie is the way she is because she is Katie… nothing to do with my parenting.

SO… I am meeting with Heather next week to go through some forms to get Katie referred to the child development unit. She will get help with her attention and listening skills and hopefully more help at playgroup. They will go in and work with her there. Heather wants to carry on working with her too which I’m pleased about. Katie loves her to bits!

I am really pleased. I feel like a weight has been lifted. Katie is like a whirlwind and I am so glad to be getting the help we need.

It has been a bit of a rollercoaster week with health problems! All 3 of us are waiting for referrals to come through and tests to be completed. Hopefully I’ll be able to update with some positive news soon!

I’ll leave you with a picture of my battered arm! I am a nightmare to get blood from and always end up like this after blood tests!