Farewell to the “Noughties”

This last decade has been eventful for me. It started off pretty badly if I’m honest. I wasn’t in a good place back then.

I spent New Year of 1999/2000 in a pub with some friends. I can remember what I wore, I still have the top somewhere stashed away! It was a very ordinary night, not as much fun as we used to have on a normal night out. I always think that there is too much expectation at new year. We used to have wild nights out but new years was always a let down. Drink prices are always ridiculous and you spend a fortune on a taxi home after waiting 3 hours for it in the first place!

This year we are staying at home. Katie will go to bed at the normal time and Anthony and I are having a meal of steak with herby new potatoes and veg followed by home-made lemon mousse. My sister and her friend might pop in at some point for a few drinks, that will be nice. We just want to spend this new year warm and safe with our nearest and dearest. It’s just a shame Robyn isn’t here to share it. She is at her “dads” until Saturday. That’s always been the deal… she goes there for new year and stays at home for Christmas. Out of the two events I know I get the better deal but I just hate having to share her 😦

I am entering the new decade with a family of my own. I am married to the man of my dreams and I have 2 wonderful daughters. I had nothing 10 years ago. Yes, I had my mum, dad, sister & nephew but I lived alone in a grotty flat. I was so so lonely and very miserable.
The “noughties” saw me have my children and get married. That makes the decade pretty momentous! It is the decade in which I grew into the person I am now. There’s lots I am glad to leave behind, glad to draw a line under. In 2005 I had what was teetering on the edge of a nervous breakdown. It scares me to think how poorly I was back then. I am very glad that I am not in that dark place anymore. In 2006 I had a miscarriage. That will always be in my mind but I am dealing with it better now. I wouldn’t have Katie if  I’d not suffered that miscarriage… I fell pregnant with her 8 weeks afterwards. Things happen for a reason. It’s all part of God’s plan. I believe that. It’s not always easy but time is a good healer.

So yeah, the last decade had great things and sad things. Inevitable I guess. Today I find myself really thinking about the past. I feel a bit weepy, people have come and gone, friends & family loved and lost.

What will the next 10 years hold… who knows?! Whatever happens it will be for a reason.

The hymn “Lord for the years” is one of my favourites. The words speak to me and give me comfort in times of both great joy and sorrow. I’d like to just share the last verse. It seems very fitting to quote it today as I always think it is about leaving behind the bad feeling, the luggage if you like. Leave all that behind and carry on regardless.

Lord for ourselves; in living power remake us-
self on the cross, and Christ upon the throne,
past put behind us, for the future take us:
Lord of our lives, to live for Christ alone.

I wish you all a very happy and prosperous 2010. May all your dreams come true xxx

Best of 2009: Resolution you wish you’d stuck with

I have just looked back through an internet forum I belong to and found a post I made on 31st December 2008. It says that my only resolution is to lose weight. Well, I managed that didn’t I?! 2010 will be my year to lose even more. I’ve already dropped one dress size. How many more can I drop? The world is my oyster. I want to drop 3 more sizes to be happy. That would take me to a size 16. To me that is tiny!

My resolution for 2010 is to be positive. This will be OUR year. Good things will happen to us because we are good people. With my family all around me we will succeed. Just watch!

This post is part of  Gwen Bell’s Best of 2009 blog challenge

Wordless Wednesday: 2010 is dawning… wish upon a star!

Find more Wordless Wednesday posts at www.wordlesswednesday.com

Best of 2009: Ad

What advertisement made you think this year?

My favourite TV ad this year is the Barclaycard one:

Years ago when on holiday you would always find me on the highest diving board and the biggest water slide. Not now. I have lost my confidence. When I first saw that advert on TV I thought “Wow! I’d love to go on that!”. Then I felt sad because I knew that whereas I used to have the confidence I’d never actually do it now. Why not?! Where did the confidence go?!
When we went on holiday to Butlins in May there were water slides galore. Did I go on any of them? No, of course not! For one thing there are weight restrictions on these things. Imagine getting to the top of the steps and then realising I was too big to go down. The humiliation would be too much. Instead I stayed with the girls in the pool while Anthony went and had fun on the slides.

One day I will go on a water slide. At Blackpool there is a water park that I have always wanted to go to. When I have lost this weight and have some confidence back I will go there and I will have fun.

This post is part of  Gwen Bell’s Best of 2009 blog challenge

Best of 2009: Laugh

My family love to laugh. All of us have a great and sometimes wicked sense of humour. When we get together with my mum, dad, sister and nephew then big laughs are guaranteed.
Sometimes the phone will ring and when you answer all you can hear is laughter, so much laughter that the person on the other end is unable to speak. It is usually my mum or dad. We do it to them too. Something will have happened that is hysterically funny and you just need to share!

On Boxing Day I was reading through something of Robyns where she had been prompted to write who in her class was the best at certain things. There were headings and she had to fill in names underneath. It went something like this:

• Best dressed: Paige
• Best dancer: William
• Best hair: Me
• Best make up: Me
• Most popular: Me & Chloe
• Best drama queen: Me
• Best cheerleader: Me
• Best singer: Me
• Most handsome: Isaac
• Best prom King: Isaac
• Best prom Queen: Me
• Most likely to become famous: All the girls

When I read it I howled with laughter. I read it out to Anthony and he did the same. I said “I’ve got to tell Mum and Dad!” so picked up the phone and read it out to them too. I could hardly speak, they were both creased up with laughing too. I knew they would appreciate it.
This is what our family does… laugh. We laugh at the slightest little thing but most of all we share our jokes and make others laugh too. Each time we meet up one of us has a funny story to tell. There is no point in keeping big laughs to yourself is there?!

This post is part of  Gwen Bell’s Best of 2009 blog challenge

Best of 2009: Stationery

As a child I loved stationery. We used to go on holiday to France a lot as kids and especially in the summer the French supermarkets would be full of stationery, cheap and different stationery to the stuff you got at home. It was heaven to me! I’d buy pens, pencils, notepads, colouring pens etc etc. I used to end up with drawers full of pens! Crazy!

Now I’m really not too fussed. I keep a magnetic notepad on the fridge for making shopping lists and there are pens dotted around the house.
The kids have a huge box of crayons, pencils and pens though. They have colouring books, activity books and notepads. Katie LOVES to draw. She knows nearly all her colours and will draw and copy letter shapes at any opportunity. Robyn is also a little artist. Her teacher is very keen on art and Robyn has caught the enthusiasm.

For me then the best stationery of 2009 is just paper and pens. Any paper and any pen that my children can draw on or with and be creative. Here is a picture that Katie drew last week. She’s a clever girl.

This post is part of  Gwen Bell’s Best of 2009 blog challenge

Best of 2009: Social web moment

I had to think about this. Not because I couldn’t think of anything but because for me the social side of the internet is the most fantastic part. I have made some very firm friendships through the internet over the last few years.

During 2009 I have met up with many friends that I initially met online. We’ve had trips to Tatton Park, the Trafford Centre, the theatre, my own home and soft play centres. What a wonderful thing it is to have friends. A friend that you know all about, have been speaking to for years in some cases and yet have never met is a great thing. We have shared good times and bad times and been there for each other through them all.
These are not fair weather friends like some “real life” friends. They are very real and proper friends who I am very blessed to have.

This post is part of  Gwen Bell’s Best of 2009 blog challenge

Best of 2009: Insight or aha moment!

For me this moment came when I was diagnosed with PCOS.

We started trying for baby number 3 in April 2008. In September of this year I took myself to the doctors and asked if my struggle to lose weight and the fact that we couldn’t conceive were related. I’d done some reading about PCOS and I did wonder. I was sent for blood tests and the results came back positive.
I started taking metformin tablets after the doctor explained to me that I have insulin resistance. The tablets lower my resistance to the insulin and therefore help me to lose weight. This in turn should help us conceive as my body goes back to normal.

The tablets have been wonderful. I no longer crave food like I used to. The side effects aren’t that pretty but I have the advantage of deciding to take a break from them when I want to. I’ve not been taking them over Christmas for example because the delicious food that I enjoy at this time of year do not agree with the meds! I shall be back on them again very soon!

Understanding that I have a condition that makes it difficult for me to lose weight was definitely my “A’ha! moment of 2009. Suddenly it all slots into place. I know what is wrong and I can do something about it!

This post is part of  Gwen Bell’s Best of 2009 blog challenge

Best of 2009: Gift

What’s a gift you gave yourself this year that has kept on giving?

This year I got the gift of “Me time”. When Katie started playgroup in September I got the chance to recharge my worn out batteries. To begin with on those playgroup days I would just come home and sit in the house in the peace and quiet, maybe with a magazine and a cup of tea. Sometimes I’d catch up on some photography coursework, sometimes tidy up (not that often though lol).
The main thing is I learned how to be Mel again. In January Katie increases her sessions at playgroup again. She’ll do 2 full days and 2 afternoons. For the time being Anthony will be here. I shall make the most of having some time together with him. Adult time. Maybe go to the cinema together, do the shopping in peace or just go for a nice walk.
I want to start swimming again. I can do that when I have me time. Being on my own gives me a chance to tackle things with a fresh head. I am able to be more in control of Katies bad behaviour (although her behaviour has been fantastic for weeks now!) and I can thoroughly enjoy my family time knowing that I’m not JUST a Mummy.

Yes, me time is a gift that just keeps on giving! Try it!

This post is part of  Gwen Bell’s Best of 2009 blog challenge

Best of 2009: Learning Experience

I shall never forget the phone call I received from my friend just after we found out that Anthony had lost his job. She told me that good things happen to good people. She told me that if we think positive thoughts then we will get through it. I repeat that mantra many times a day.

Good things happen to good people. It is true. When you are in despair and it seems that the world has turned its back on you think about the good things. Turn things around and things will be ok. So Anthony doesn’t have a job but we have been able to have so much more family time than would have been possible.

The people who forced Anthony out of his job are not good people. They might have a job but I would bet a lot of money that they are not happy. The business will not succeed. Already they are not open as much as they were when Anthony was there. It is always empty, people in the town don’t have a good word to say about the place. When we own our own business it will succeed. No doubt about it. Good things happen to good people.

My learning experience of 2009 then? Good things happen to good people!

This post is part of  Gwen Bell’s Best of 2009 blog challenge